Missing Him

I cant believe tt i am already starting to miss him.

i tot that i can hold back my tears this morning when the sentence was announced.

i tot i was brave enough to go thru tt.

i have nvr been thru tt.

but those who knew me will know that i am a crybaby.

i cry @ the slightest thing.

i cried this morning when i heard the parents of an accused cried when pleading leniency for their son committed credit card theft.

i cried last fri when i was "accused" at work.

i cried when i watched movies.

i cried when i hear songs with touching lyrics.

and i cried this morning. only for a very short moment.

and i kept breathing deep, cos i know i look like a freak when i cry and he will not feel good if i cry for him too.

4.5 mths.

it'll be another 4.5 mths before he can step into our house again.

the poorest thing is tt poor little derder didnt know that the next time he can "feel" his daddy's touch will be after 4.5 mths, or even longer.

and yet, he still happily hops around the house playing with his toys.

how i wish i can be like him.

everything still goes on even when the sky falls and he will still think tt its just a blanket protecting him from the cold.

how i wish i can be like him.

eat, sleep, play, shit and eat, sleep, play, shit and then sleep again....

how i wish i can be like him.

cry when he is sad and laugh when he is happy.

how simple life is for him.

showered with love from everyone who sees him.

how i wish i can go back to when i am a baby.

can i be benjamin button? opps, btw, i cried watching benjamin button too.